Understanding your resistance habits could be the best thing for your motivation | blog post | Kate Taylor life design and empowerment coach

Understanding your resistance habits could be the best thing for your motivation

Understanding your resistance habits goes a long way to helping you make progress towards your BIG, BOLD, BEAUTIFUL life goals. In this post we explore how your resistance habits will inevitably hold you back, and how befriending them could help you resist the resistance.


I'm not a fan of conflict. Never have been, never will be. You see I'm Libra Sun & Moon so I value diplomacy and peace above many other things. Justice and fairness are also my drivers, so I will spend more time thinking about the balance of two sides of an issue. This can cause challenges if you're a hugely empathetic person because you will often place the feelings of the other person on the side of any particular conflict above your own.


What I have learned through many many situations of trials and errors (oh so many errors), is that if I stick my head in the sand things get 100 times harder than they need to be. This resistance to deal used to come about because I either don't want to upset someone else, I wanted to avoid a tough conversation, or I  didn't want to come across as a complete B and end up being unlikeable. 


So I would either run away from a situation completely, ghost the situation - never explaining to the other person why I had pulled away, or make myself miserable stagnating in a space or place that doesn't serve me, or the other people in the whole goddamn mess!


As I've done the work (AKA never stop doing the freaking work) I've gained the self-awareness for how these resistance and avoidance tactics show up. And how, instead of running away from them, I can face the storm (which is never really a storm, more a strong breeze) and find a way through that works from a place of self-preservation and owning my own space.

Step three of BIG, BOLD, BEAUTIFUL, the book, is all about busting beyond your resistance habits. And yes there is an entire step dedicated to it because no matter how excited you might get about the BIG, BOLD, BEAUTIFUL vision and plans you make for your life, all good intentions can often turn to dust in front of your very eyes.
And why? Because of resistance.
Resistance will show up on the BIG, BOLD, BEAUTIFUL journey because as soon as you set out to do something different fear will drop in and whip up a frenzy as to why it's all going to go horribly wrong (you've seen Inside Out, right?) And your ego will have all manner of tantrums because it's kinda got used to your uncomfortable comfort blanket, it knows where it's safe to hang out, and you changing things up could mean vulnerability and change.
Resistance is such a natural part of the journey and it's important to know where and how it's likely to show up so you can do something about it, rather than it knocking you off-course completely.
And how? Through a huge amount of self-awareness and becoming consciously aware of how you do resistance, which is definitely a journey of a lifetime, you can start simply by understanding your resistance habits.
These can often show up as a heady cocktail of:
  • Procrastination
  • Over-complicating things
  • Overthinking
  • Avoidance
  • Pushing things away
  • Self-sabotage
  • Perfectionism
  • Hitting the F*ck It button
  • Fear of Failure

And more

Once you have the conscious awareness of where and how you do any, or all, of these things you can start to unpick and re-wire to loosen the resistance band that forms around your ability to carry out the micro actions towards your BIG, BOLD, BEAUTIFUL soul goals.
All whilst getting to know yourself and befriending all those parts that you would normally beat yourself up over.
And that is putting the BIG, the BOLD and the BEAUTIFUL into the wild carpet ride of your life adventure.

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

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